UU San Mateo

Connecting and community building are essential building blocks of religious education and religious life.  We learn best and grow most when we are in relationship with each other.  One important way to be in relationship is by sharing our ministry with one another and honoring the ministries of those around us.    

What do we mean by ministry?   All of us have gifts we can give to our congregation: a warm smile for newcomers on Sunday morning, a flair for making the sanctuary beautiful, a knack for small repairs, a fun and reassuring presence with young children, the ability to listen to people in pain, or a prophetic vision for justice.   All of us have a calling – whether it clangs loudly in our ears or just beginning to be audible – that can serve to promote the mission of our congregation.

At its best, our personal ministry is offered freely in service of congregation’s: to be a religious community of open minds and open hearts, working together to transform ourselves and the world. 

Ministry happens wherever individuals embrace the belief that their good works, their volunteerism, their acts, can help serve the mission and vision of their congregation… ministry is something shared by all who are part of a spiritual community; a way to put faith into action for the benefit of the church and the wider community[i] (UUA website)

Giving of ourselves in service of our mission is vital to healthy congregational life.  In contrast with the consumer culture which envelops us, it is important that we don’t come together to meet only our own needs or contribute only to our own favorite causes or programs, we come to UUSM to serve something greater than ourselves.   That is what makes us a religious community.

The belief that ministry does not belong exclusively to ordained clergy, but to everyone, is central to Unitarian Universalism.  Shared ministry has deep roots in Christianity.  In her sermon, The Shared Ministry, the Rev. Dr. Jan Carlsson-Bull traces the concept back to the early Christian Church of “the priesthood of all believers.”[ii]   The early Christian church had no formal religious leaders; it was informal and egalitarian. Christians were expected to use her or his individual gifts to build up the beloved community.   This understanding is underscored in the First Letter of Peter.  Believers are implored to “Come to him, to that living stone… and like living stones be yourselves built into a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood.”[iii]  Our community of our spiritual house, each of us has a role in building it.

Many centuries later, Martin Luther took up his hammer and nailed his 95 theses—on the door of the Wittenberg Church in 1517, to protest the policy of the Catholic Church that to the holy could only be mediated by an exclusive group of formally-trained priests.    This courageous act ignited a revolution within Christianity and is an historic antecedent of the Unitarian Universalists’ commitment to independent and responsible search for truth and meaning.

What is your personal ministry?   The process of discernment may require some soul-searching, speaking with congregational leaders to learn more about possible paths, and some trial and error.   Rev. Carlsson-Bull suggests considering four questions when discerning our personal vocation within our congregation:   What am I doing right now in the congregation that fulfills me?  What do I do well?  What fulfills me?  What needs to be done? 

Often, there is not one simple answer to these questions.   Sometimes what we long most to do may not be the most pressing thing the congregation’s mission requires.  Sometimes what we are good at isn’t necessarily what fulfills us.   Sometimes it is more a matter of gathering the courage to do what your heart is calling you to do; sometimes it is biting the bullet and doing what you know only you can do.   Sometimes we are doing exactly what is right for us; sometimes when we need to stop doing something that is not.  

Another question Rev. Carlsson-Bull suggests we ask ourselves when discerning our ministry is this:  “Is there stuff happening in my life right now that suggests I scream for help?”   There are times that we do the ministering, but it is vital to recognize that there are also times when we must surrender to receiving ministry: when we are ill, when are in mourning, when are going through a break up or have lost a job, when we have brought a baby into our family, or when life simply has left us depleted.   Receiving ministry means reaching out and letting people care for you, coming on Sunday mornings simply to sit in the service, showing up at your Chalice Circle or women’s potluck and talking with people who will listen.  We all need ministry at some point in our lives.

For myself, the call to work with children here at UUSM was strong.  Recently married but not yet having children of my own, I hungered to spend time with kids.   When I first began to work as a religious educator with the preschool class, I went to work the next day talking about all of the great things the kids had to say and how enchanting they were.   I resisted joining the Religious Education Council when my kids were small, but did agree to serve on the search committee to find a new Director of Religious Education.  When our new hire didn’t work out, there was a voice inside my head telling me that this is what I should be doing even though I had said “you had to be crazy to want this job” and, truthfully, was scared out of my mind.   In spite of my reservations, I joined Carol Bodeau as co-directors.   That was almost eight years ago and yes, the work has been hard, but it has also been more fulfilling than anything I’d done before.

Opening yourself up to participating in shared ministry is rewarding but it is also risky.   In her book Full Circle, Kate Tweedie Covey makes the point that if we want our members and our member’s children to stay connected to our faith, we need to prepare them for the downsides of living in community.   Life in a faith community, as rich and stimulating and transformational as it is, can also be painful.  When we are in conflict with a leader or team member in our community, or when we let them down or let ourselves down, the hurt we experience can be intense.   Because our spiritual home is where we strive to be our best selves, and sharing our truest selves makes us vulnerable to being hurt more deeply. 

For those of us who look to our faith community to be a microcosm of all of our hopes and dreams for the world, being hurt by something someone said or did or did not do or say can be devastating.  This is definitely not what most of us sign up for when we decide to join a church!  Realizing that paid and lay leaders that we look up to are just as imperfectly human as the rest of us – can be disillusioning.  This is especially true when we are new to our faith or a particular congregation and still in that honeymoon phase.  

Remaining engaged in a community after a disappointment takes real spiritual maturity.   It means consciously striving to ensure our heart breaks open, and does not break closed.  We may need to take time to process what has happened and to heal, while honoring our congregational Covenant of Right Relations.  If at all possible, discuss the problem directly with the person involved in a respectful and honest way.  If not, write in your journal or talk to someone outside of the congregation who can listen sympathetically and objectively.