REFLECTION: Living love through The Practice of PRESENCE

This congregational year, our monthly themes are continuing to help us live love more deeply through various spiritual practices. For the month of December, we are exploring The Practice of PRESENCE.

According to our friends at the Soul Matters Sharing Circle, there are two different ways of thinking about presence. The usual way is the notion of "being present" or "living in the moment." Theologians suggest, however, there is a "hidden and divine 'otherness'," and if we practice, we may be able to "notice a transcendent Presence woven through all moments" and experience previously "unnoticed gifts and grace."

Experiencing that deeper form of presence is challenging because we live in an age of anxiety, one that measures success in terms of productivity and the ability to make money. That kind of life places our focus upon either regretting the past or worrying about the future, and sometimes both at once.

"Most of us have spent our lives caught up in plans, expectations, ambitions for the future [or in] regrets, guilt or shame about the past. To come into the present is to stop the war."

– Jack Kornfield

But just how do we stop the war and become fully present? Philosopher Alan Watts offers some wisdom: "Stop measuring your days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence."

In one of his many lectures, Watts said we live our lives as if we are climbing a ladder. As children, we go through Kindergarten, and then we gradually climb up into elementary, middle, and high school. With good enough grades, we climb up again into higher education, and then into a career…only to arrive at middle age saying, "I've arrived." But have we? We never experience actually being there, because there are always more rungs on the ladder, so we climb higher to achieve even more. "You can't live at all unless you can live fully NOW," Watts concludes.

How do we take time out to just be present wherever we are?

And what does being present to this moment look like?

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh offered one description that touches my soul:

Drink your tea slowly

and reverently, as if it is the axis

on which the earth revolves –

slowly, evenly, without rushing

toward the future.

Live the actual moment.

Only this moment is life.

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy tells us that when we live our lives in a state of deep presence, we remove all judgment, walls and masks, and we are able to "create a true and deep connection with people or experiences." Presence, Cuddy explains, is "the state of being attuned to and able to really comfortably express your true self…your values and your beliefs and your skills and your passions – all of those things that make you you."

To achieve that state takes practice. This month's Ministry Guide offers an array of spiritual exercises designed to guide us along the path of becoming more present. In one exercise, we are encouraged to explore the "hiddenness" of five objects in our lives. "Only when I am quiet for a long time, and do not speak," says poet Jane Hirshfield, "do the objects of my life draw near." The point of the exercise, according to Soul Matters, is to reveal "what in your life has been waiting to reveal itself to you."

Another spiritual exercise suggested for this month is to devote a day to the Japanese concept of Ichigo ichie – the practice of being present to impermanence. Literally translated as "one time, one meeting," Ichigo ichie means "for this time only" or "once in a lifetime." This exact moment will never happen again, so we need to be present to it. This exercise suggests we spend one day in which we find at least five moments, saying to ourselves each time: "I will never experience this again."

Some of this month's suggested reflection questions touched me deeply:

How can I learn to be present to the days that are left?

Are my efforts to ensure future security costing me the richness of my current days?

Would I be more present to my life if I weren't trying to perfect it, or win at it?

Which of the 15 reflection questions, included in this month's Ministry Guide, will support you as you explore The Practice of Presence?

Or perhaps one of this month's Companion Pieces will bring deep presence into greater focus in your life. This one rings true for me:

In an age of speed…nothing could be more invigorating than going slow.

In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention.

And in an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.

– Pico Iyer

Go slow; pay attention; sit still. The Practice of PRESENCE can enhance all our lives.

Seeking more inspiration and wisdom about The Practice of PRESENCE? Check out this month’s Soul Matters Overview and the complete ministry guide.