REFLECTION: The Gift of GENEROSITY

This reflection was first written and published in November 2023. It has been lightly edited to update it for publication this month. 

Before I began to dive deeply into our August congregational theme, The Gift of GENEROSITY, I naively thought this topic would be about helping to meet others' needs by digging into my wallet to donate to the non-profit organizations I support.

But I soon discovered Generosity is so much bigger than just being charitable. The folks at Soul Matters say that an understanding of generosity goes far beyond that notion if we are going to understand it as a spiritual Gift. As they explain in this month's Overview, true generosity transforms, connects, and challenges.

We first need to understand that Generosity is transformative. “...[L]ife can harden us,” Soul Matters suggests. “…[W]e can’t be blamed for viewing it as a threat…where the winners take all and the rest of us are thrown to the bottom.” But then suddenly, a spark of grace appears unexpectedly, in the form of someone lending a hand, just when we need someone to lean on. When that happens, “[the] winner-take-all view of life gives way to something softer…as though life itself is trying to help.” And that is how Generosity demonstrates transformation.

Viewing Generosity as connective requires us to understand that giving and giving generously are very different. When we simply give, we are sharing the extras – our loose change, so to say. When we give generously, we are giving what is essential to our Selves. “[W]hen you hand over a part of you to someone else, you are tethered,” says Soul Matters, "Your vulnerability meets their vulnerability. … Both of you feel seen. And less alone.” That is how giving generously creates true connection.

A third aspect of generosity is that it challenges us to call out those who have more than they could possibly need but are hoarding what they have. Generosity “invites justice in…[asking] us to question why some have so much more than others.” Generosity suggests we challenge those who have the ability to give so much, but don’t.

Opportunities to explore The Gift of GENEROSITY

Once again, the Spiritual Exercises in this month’s Ministry Packet provide a variety of ways to dig deeply into our theme. Here are just some of them:

• Option A, Life’s Generosity on a Scale of 1-10 suggests we look at the Generosity in our own lives by rating our own life’s gifts and challenges, from scarcity to abundance. (This exercise produced surprising results for me, from not being fully appreciative of life’s abundance to considering my scarcity experiences more deeply.)

• Option B, Lend Life a Hand will challenge you to be both the giver and receiver of generosity by finding ways to bring generosity to someone else’s life but not letting them know you are involved.

• Option C, Give Generosity to Receive It! suggests, seemingly counterintuitively, that we can get what we want by giving that same thing to others. If we hunger for someone to listen to us, for example, let’s be generous in listening to others. “When we are feeling the poorest, that’s the time to give a gift,” says author Dhyani Ywahoo, the founder and spiritual director of Sunray Meditation Society.

What I’ve learned so far about The Gift of Generosity

I have only just begun to explore the gifts inherent to this month’s theme, but I am already deeply engaged in some of my notions about Generosity that I have not yet considered completely. Here are some examples.

I am currently in the process of downsizing by giving away many of the items I’ve accumulated through the years but which no longer serve me. That takes the form of posting to the Buy Nothing San Mateo Facebook page, which lets its members post items as Gifts (or Asks, if one has a need); and dropping off bags and boxes of stuff at my local Goodwill. Both of these methods allow me to be generous toward others while doing myself the favor of becoming lighter. Nevertheless, I keep hitting roadblocks in giving away items I no longer need, mainly because I have attached memories to my things, and those memories are laden with emotion. Another roadblock is having been raised by parents who went through the Great Depression and raised their children with the mantra, “It’s still useful!”

Another generosity roadblock I’m wrestling with is scarcity. “...I am astonished at how readily I believe that something I need is in short supply,” says Parker Palmer, renowned author and educator. “If I hoard possessions, it is because I believe that there are not enough to go around. … The irony…is that by embracing the scarcity assumption, we create the very scarcities we fear.” The corollary, of course, is to come from a place of abundance. In my own life, I have discovered that holding on tight to my financial resources actually makes me feel as if I don’t have enough, but when I open myself up to increasing my personal financial generosity, there actually seems to be more of everything, including money.

I have also been thinking about gifting, both giving and receiving. Gift-giving is emotionally difficult for me: it is challenging to find just-the-right gift that will make the other person’s heart sing. Far more difficult, however, is being on the receiving end of someone else's expression of generosity towards me. “Gracious acceptance is an art – an art which most never bother to cultivate,” says prolific British author Alexander McCall Smith. “...[W]e forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving…. Accepting another person’s gift is allowing them to express their feelings for you.” Lately I have been the fortunate recipient of “unearned” gifts coming in my direction from friends. Accepting another’s generosity toward me is an intimate experience, and I often find that challenging.

And now...

...what will your challenges be this month, as we explore The Gift of Generosity together?

Seeking more inspiration and wisdom about The Gift of GENEROSITY?

Check out this month’s Soul Matters Overview, and the complete Generosity Ministry Packet.