Living love through The Practice of JOY

I am struggling with how to think and write about our April congregational theme. This month's material would have us living love more deeply through The Practice of JOY, but it feels hard to experience joy during these frightening times, when each day seems to bring more evidence that our beloved democratic way of life is under attack.

Joy seems to be elusive. Our friends at Soul Matters suggest that perhaps joy is just so for a reason, to help us understand that it must be "passed, not possessed…spread between you and me. … not ours to keep, but ours to give."

Joy is certainly a complicated emotion, especially since it's so easy to get it tangled up with happiness. Author Martha Beck suggests a distinction between the two. "Happiness is attached to things being a certain way," she writes. "But joy is about the bliss of being," a feeling that is independent from external circumstances.

"Joy is exactly what is happening, minus our opinion of it," writes American Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck. That leads me to believe I should be in a constant state of joy, but frankly, I'm usually pretty opinionated about what's happening. So I'm looking for some advice about how to increase my "joy quotient."

The Spiritual Exercises in this month's Ministry Guide are worthy of consideration. According to one exercise, we get through stretches of loss and struggle only because we carry joy within us, like a joy box from which we can gather strength during difficult times. What brings you joy? Perhaps you can make a list of past and current memories to put into your joy box. This idea reminds of the times when I have experienced great joy and longed to find a way to put that feeling into a bottle so I could take a swig when I inevitably felt down again.

Our busy lifestyles are not conducive to experiencing joy. German/Swiss poet and novelist Hermann Hesse wrote, "The high value put on every minute of time, the idea of hurry-hurry as the most important objective of living, is unquestionably the most dangerous enemy of joy."

Additionally, we dedicate our lives to things we have to do, not things we want to do. For those whose lives are driven by a calendar, Soul Matters suggests we schedule a daily dose of joy. It can be something as simply as "Take a walk with my pup" or "Call my friend." For this exercise, it's important to put your "joy appointment" directly onto your calendar at a specific time. If you can't get it done at the scheduled time, move it to the next day. And if you get really behind, consider scheduling a "joy catch-up day."

Another exercise that appeals to me this month is engaging with a ridiculous activity. "...[B]eing ridiculous and being joyful go hand in hand," Soul Matters tells us. "Silliness…is one of the best ways to disconnect from the seriousness of life that can drain the energy from our days." A list of silly activities is offered this month, including this one: buy 12 different types of bar soap and test one each day in your morning shower, ranking each according to scent, cleanliness, and "foam-ability." Or you can make up your own silly exercise. (Just how many bites does it take to eat an entire container of Ben & Jerry's ice cream?)

I am someone who derives a great deal of pleasure from doing – from getting things accomplished. If I say I'm going to do something, you can count on me to get it done. Work is my happy place. The problem, of course, is that such happiness is attached to specific circumstances. Being a "human DOing" has always given me lots of opportunities to experience happiness. But joy is different; it is a ground of being that is constant, regardless of the circumstances, even -- and perhaps especially -- if those circumstances are challenging. If I want to understand and experience joy, I'll need to dig deeper, to become more of a "human BEing."

Author Ross Gay, whose work focuses on studying and understanding joy, suggests we consider an additional dimension. "What if joy and pain are fundamentally tangled up with one another?" he asks. "What if joy…is what effloresces from us as we help each other carry our heartbreaks?"

In our beloved congregation, helping each other carry our heartbreaks is one of the services we provide to one another; doing so brings great joy to both giver and receiver. May we all learn how to practice joy more deeply this month.

I slept and dreamt that life was joy.

I awoke and saw that life was service.

I acted and, behold, service was joy.

– Rabindranath Tagore

Seeking more inspiration and wisdom about The Practice of JOY? Check out this month’s Soul Matters Overview and the complete Ministry Guide for this theme.