REFLECTION: Awakening Curiosity

I have always thought of myself as someone who is curious about everything. But it wasn't until I read the *Ministry Packet for AWAKENING CURIOSITY, our congregational theme for the month of May, that I discovered curiosity is far more complex than it seems.

Our friends at the Soul Matters Sharing Circle point out that there are two different levels of curiosity. "There is a type of curiosity that is about enjoyment and adventure," writes Rev. Scott Tayler, founder of Soul Matters. "[It] invites us to experience life as a playground." When we look deeper, however, there is another type of curiosity that "demands not just our attention, but our courage … to enlist us in the work of the world."

Living our lives from the first type of curiosity is likely to be easier and more fun. Choosing that second type of curiosity can be somewhat scary, but it is likely to result in a more profound way of living.

Our Unitarian Universalist heritage encourages us toward that second type of curiosity. Rather than subscribing to a single path of "truth," we UUs cherish our doubts, employing courageous curiosity to continuously learn and explore, then revising our understanding as we go. We make mistakes along the way, of course, but we recognize, as James Joyce so succinctly put it – "[M]istakes are the portals of discovery."

Being curious about ourselves

An area of curiosity we frequently ignore is wondering deeply about ourselves, so as to improve our self-awareness. To provide some assistance in this endeavor, Soul Matters adapted one of the spiritual exercises in this month's *Ministry Guide from an exercise in author Michael Gelb's book, How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. (An insatiable curiosity and thirst for learning is the first of seven principles Gelb identifies.)

Using a personal computer or a journal and pen, we are invited to write down questions about ourselves and life. At first, the questions will come easily (e.g., "Why is my favorite color blue?"), but since this exercise asks us to list 100 such questions, we are likely to achieve better insights later on, when we have to focus more deeply (e.g., "What is the purpose of my life?"). The next step is to group our questions into themes, picking out the top two or three. Finally, we are asked to pick out our top ten questions, then rank them in order of importance. When all of these steps are complete, we can explore what those themes and questions tell us about ourselves at a very deep level.

If coming up with 100 questions sounds a bit too challenging, another way to be curious about ourselves is to solicit the help of others. In this spiritual exercise, we develop 8-10 questions we think will get at the heart of who we are. Then we invite a trusted friend or family member to join us for coffee or a walk together, asking them our questions and requesting complete honesty. Your questions are likely to be different, but here are some I resonated with from among the many examples provided this month by Soul Matters:

• What is my greatest strength?

• What three adjectives describe me best?

• How am I courageous?

• What do you most love about me?

• (I'll add my own question here:)

  What do you think I should change about how I am living my life?

Being curious about others

"When interpreting other people's behavior, we easily grab hold of negative assessments," our Soul Matters friends tell us. "[O]ur human default seems to be judgment."

Searching for a way to become kinder and less judgmental of others in her own personal life, artist and writer Jen Picicci discovered curiosity is a skill that can really help us. "There’s something so freeing about giving a person the benefit of the doubt and coming up with possible reasons for their behavior that go beyond the obvious," she writes in her essay, How Curiosity Can Help Us Be Kinder and Less Judgmental. "It feels so good to operate this way," she concludes. After all, "[J]udgments are assumptions, not truths."

This subject hits a deep, personal nerve. When interpreting the behavior of others, my own reflex is to automatically assume the negative. Consequently, one of my spiritual practices this month will be to engage with this Soul Matters suggestion: "[S]pend a week looking for opportunities to be kindly curious about people's behaviors rather than judgmental about them." [emphasis added]

Awakening Curiosity Together

Regardless of how you approach it, practicing deep curiosity is surely a fascinating journey, one we Unitarian Universalists seem to crave. "[I]sn't the seeking part of the journey when we feel most alive?" writes Rev. Tayler. "Who wants the feeling of 'I figured it out!' when instead you can live in the state of 'What could it be?' The curious unknown is what keeps us moving, and grateful to be alive."

And so, dear friends, we can join together this month to awaken our curiosity. Let us embrace the challenge issued by Ali K.C. Bell, an "unapologetically black and unapologetically trans" UU minister, who suggests that we "Revel in the Mystery":

May we find the courage to revel in the experience of the mystery.

May we approach the unknown with excitement

(even if we can only muster a tiny bit).

May we celebrate the curiosity that leads to searching.

May we meet ourselves along the way and love us, unapologetically.

Seeking a deeper dive into AWAKENING CURIOSITY?

• Check out the one-page AWAKENING CURIOSITY Overview.

• The complete AWAKENING CURIOSITY ministry packet is available to UUSM members and friends; to obtain the link, contact Sheila Sandow.