REFLECTION: Embracing Possibility

I've just finished reading the ministry packet for EMBRACING POSSIBILITY, our congregational theme for the month of April, and now I am so filled with possibilities, it is difficult to know where to begin this reflection!

Perhaps a good starting point is understanding what "possibility" is all about. The word comes from the Latin word posse, which means "to have power." According to our friends at Soul Matters, it's important to note that "possibility" is not just about believing something can happen or having faith that it will, but rather, being empowered and gathering power.

Clearly, embracing possibility is not a passive exercise. It is all about making things happen!

Learning from the "unlocking season"

The sense of renewal that happens this time each year makes us eager to embrace possibility with enthusiasm, and to do so quickly. From washing the windows, to tidying up the garage, to cleaning out that overstuffed closet, March and April give us a sense of hope. It's a time when anything and everything feels possible!

According to one of this month's Spiritual Exercises (included in the *Embracing Possibility Ministry Packet), we may want to avoid rushing forward this time of year. Instead, we may first want to give appropriate consideration to March and April being the "unlocking season" – so named by renowned American writer Kurt Vonnegut. He suggests there are really six seasons:

• The "unlocking season" – March/April

• Spring – May/June

• Summer – July/August

• Fall – September/October

• The "locking season" – November/December

• Winter – January/February

  
  

(These distinctions are probably more obvious in places where there is greater seasonal change. Here in California, we are more likely to use the phrase "transitional season" to describe early spring and late fall.)

What does one do right now, during this, the "unlocking season"? In this month's spiritual exercise called "What Needs Unlocked?," Soul Matters suggests we notice what is beginning to stir inside our souls as we emerge from the darker/colder part of the year, so that we can nurture the seeds of life inside ourselves just now coming awake. The suggestion is that we set aside time this month to explore some important questions:

• What is awakening in my life?

• What in me wants to unfold?

• What needs "unlocked" in my life so possibility can emerge?

• Where do I need to loosen, soften, or crack open a closed door so that what is stirring inside me has room to grow?

• (What will you learn about yourself during this "unlocking season" if you take the time to consider these questions?)

Learning from "unlived lives"

Another spiritual exercise that caught my attention this month is called "Grieving & Learning from your Unlived Lives." As I commence my ninth decade of life, I find myself regretting many of the choices I have made, and grieving for the many unlived lives that are now no longer available to me.

"We can't live every version of our life; that's the human deal," writes Miranda Miller in her Midlife Nomads substack, called Grieving the Life You Didn't Live. "But we do get to choose what we do with the ache" that can come from regretting our unlived lives.

"Regret isn't always a verdict; sometimes it's just information," Miller observes. Writing down our emotional "what-if" stories can help us get to the core of them by asking:

"What did I believe that version of my life would give me?"

It's not the event we're grieving, but rather:

"...the feeling we thought the event would unlock."

Once we know that, we can ask ourselves:

"Where could I create more of that feeling now?"

Extracting the essence of an old fantasy can enable us to design a new experience in the present and future that will give us what we sought from the unlived experience.

Learning from support for embracing possibility

By the time we have some life experience under our belts, all of us feel disappointed that the world is not the way we'd like it to be. Some of that disappointment is based on events in our lives when we tried and failed, but a large part of our feeling defeated is based on fears we imagine, and the ways we go about protecting ourselves.

"There's comfort in convincing yourself that the effort is hopeless," writes Soul Matters Founder Rev. Scott Tayler, in this month's Overview. "[T]hat way you don't have to try and risk failure, hurt or disappointment, yet again."

Opening ourselves to embracing possibility is not an easy task. It requires being both courageous and vulnerable, and there are likely to be wounds along the way of being so hopeful, Rev. Tayler points out. When we step out bravely to say, "Why not?," it's important to surround ourselves with a support team.

"[N]o one makes it down the road of possibility alone," he concludes. Embracing possibility is not a "solo act." All of us need at least one close friend or life partner who can help us clarify who we are and what we're seeking, and then can pick us up when we feel wounded. Transforming that support duet into a quartet is even better. Or, consider what it might be like to have an entire community willing to provide the support each of us needs when we're embracing new possibilities?

I know where I can find just such a community of support.

Seeking a deeper dive into EMBRACING POSSIBILITY?

• Check out the one-page EMBRACING POSSIBILITY Overview.

• The complete *EMBRACING POSSIBILITY ministry packet is available to UUSM members and friends; to obtain the link, contact Sheila Sandow.