REFLECTION: Nurturing Gratitude

As I began to explore Nurturing Gratitude, our congregational theme for the month of November, I wondered about the pairing of those two words.

"Gratitude is essential," says Rev. Scott Tayler, founder of the Soul Matters Sharing Circle. "We aren't built for constant striving and the pursuit of more. Instead, we need moments of pause in which we are filled and replenished by the large and small wonders of the world."

Practicing gratitude passively may not be sufficient, however. The busyness of our lives and our worries about the state of the world are among the things that seriously threaten our ability to experience and express gratitude for all the ways in which we are blessed. "Sitting back and waiting for gratitude to arise is simply not enough," Rev. Tayler asserts, suggesting that nurturing may be the most important aspect of this month's theme.

But how can we do a better job of actively practicing gratitude, rather than getting caught up in what we don't have?

The Latin root word for gratitude is gratus, which means "thankful" or "pleasing." As poet and philosopher Mark Nepo explains, "The original meaning of the word 'appreciate' [is] to move toward what is precious. Practicing gratitude is a type of leaning in towards being truly present. It's a practice that engages our aliveness – that awakens us to what is precious." That leaning in and being truly present enables us to focus on what we have, rather than what we think is missing.

So much has been given to me;

I have no time to ponder over that which has been denied.

– Helen Keller

To awaken ourselves to the preciousness of life, many of us engage in the practice of creating gratitude lists. If, like me, you feel making such lists can be boring, you may find yourself drawn to Option C of this month's Spiritual Exercises, contained in the Nurturing Gratitude Ministry Packet. Subtitled "A George Bailey Gratitude Exercise," the Option C process closely resembles how angel Clarence in It's a Wonderful Life taught George Bailey to be grateful for his many blessings by imagining what his life would have been like without those blessings.

In the Option C Spiritual Exercise, we are asked to think about a significant, positive aspect of our lives, then think about all the small events that had to happen to reach that outcome. The next step is to remove those small events, thereby experiencing what our lives would be like if they had never happened. For example, what events happened in your life that led up to you meeting your current partner? Or getting hired into that perfect job? Or discovering our beloved community? This technique, known as The Mental Subtraction of Positive Events, can deepen our appreciation for the gifts we actually have in our lives, thereby allowing us to recognize and count our many blessings!

While you're busy counting your blessings, don't forget all the things you routinely take for granted, such as good health, a home, adequate financial resources, relationships that nurture your spirit, ample food on your table, a community that cares for you. Many other people do not have the blessings you have. A "normal" day for you may be what someone else has been dreaming about!

When we are truly grateful, we naturally feel the urge to return the kindness, ushering more gratitude into the world. In an article entitled, "How to Practice Gratitude and Pay It Forward," the folks at the Paper Peony Press publishing company suggest we can expand our gratitude practice by not just being grateful, but also by paying it forward in any number of ways. Some of their pay-it-forward suggestions include smiling as you pass others, writing that thank-you note, letting someone in front of you in line at the grocery store or on the highway, running an errand for someone, giving a stranger a compliment. There are literally countless ways to pay it forward, thereby expressing your gratitude back into the world!

"Committing to an ongoing gratitude practice begins to shift your mindset toward the good things in life," the publishers suggest. "You automatically start looking for things to be grateful for, and see them more clearly and immediately."

The benefits of a well-nurtured gratitude practice can make an enormous difference in our lives. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can improve mental and physical health, thereby increasing personal happiness and expanding our sense of connectedness with family, friends, and community.

In my nurturing-gratitude practice this month, I will be focusing on the part of my cup that's full, rather than what's missing. I will express gratitude for the many blessings that have been bestowed upon me, not the least of which is being a part of this beloved community.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

  It turns what we have into enough…."

– Melody Beattie

Seeking a deeper dive into NURTURING GRATITUDE?

Check out the one-page NURTURING GRATITUDE Overview,

and the complete NURTURING GRATITUDE ministry packet.