REFLECTION: Paying Attention

I had been looking forward to PAYING ATTENTION, our March congregational theme, with great anticipation. My ability to pay attention to whatever is happening in the present moment has always been a challenge, and I have been hoping this theme's learnings could help me improve.

I expected our friends at the Soul Matters Sharing Circle would present some spiritual exercises that would help me improve my ability to pay attention, and – as usual – they have done so, some of which I share later in this reflection. But I did not expect to experience the deeper spiritual meanings associated with the simple act of paying attention.

Chief among these came by way of an introduction to the work of Simone Weil, a French philosopher, mystic, and political activist who lived a very short life during the first half of the 20th century. Renowned both for her empathy and intellect, Weil devoted her life to workers and the poor, empathizing so greatly with them that Albert Camus called her "the only great spirit of our times" and T.S. Eliot described her as "the greatest saint of the 20th century."

For Weil, profound knowledge does not come through abstract reasoning, but rather, from the ability to pay complete attention through a focused, patient gaze she called "the gaze of the soul." At the heart of Weil's philosophy is a process she labeled "decreation" – letting go of the ego's need to control, which gets in the way of our being able to truly experience the world.

Philosophers who have subsequently studied Weil's writings emphasize that the digital age in which we live creates the perfect environment for distracting our attention from what's truly important, thus subjecting us to forces designed to control our minds (and also buy their products!). The folks at Philosopheasy.com, a website that simplifies complex philosophical ideas, have followed upon Weil's writings by suggesting we could improve our attentive listening skills through the regular practice of several simple steps:

• Practice stillness through daily quiet contemplation

• Cultivate mindful awareness by engaging in judgement-free attention to one's thoughts, feelings, surroundings

• Engage with the world intentionally by choosing deep-focus activities, such as reading and writing

• Limit digital consumption by being aware of our use of technology and creating protective boundaries 

Others have explored ideas similar to those expressed by Weil. When poet Mary Oliver wrote, "Attention is the beginning of devotion," she was pointing out that we cannot love until we can fully see. Our Soul Matters friends explain that "truly loving someone or something requires the difficult work of noticing our wants and then putting them down…to look without expectation of who or what we hope the other will be…." Such a practice prevents ego-driven thinking from getting in the way of empathy.

These ideas remind me of a personal meditation practice with which I formerly engaged (and probably should resume). When sitting down to meditate, I would deep-breathe to empty my mind and, eventually, settle my soul completely. Once I reached a certain state of stillness (Weil's "decreation"), I would soon receive messages coming in from outside me, and they often provided answers to difficult questions I was facing. Much like a radio signal, the energy pathway seemed to flow in only one direction at a time; eliminating my ego-driven thinking enabled me to receive and acknowledge – pay attention to – the reality being freely offered, by what some could perhaps call "love" or "spirit."

The problem we face as both individuals and a society is that we often pay attention – and give credence – to things that do not match our true values. We pay a big price for doing so. "When you pay attention to something you don't especially value," writes British journalist and author Oliver Burkeman, "it's not an exaggeration to say that you're paying with your life." Spanish philosopher and essayist José Ortega y Gasset sums things up even more succinctly: "Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are." And American journalist Ezra Klein warns us that "[w]hen we cede control of our attention, …[w]e cede…control over what we will care about tomorrow."

Consequently, it is worth our while to consider how we might improve our ability to pay attention to things that match our true values. All of the Spiritual Exercises included in this month's Ministry Packet are designed to help us along that path. Here are brief descriptions of two that particularly caught my attention:

Option B: Let Mary Oliver Guide Your Attention

In Gratitude, poet Mary Oliver asks herself and answers eight questions about what she noticed – paid attention to – after having spent the day walking in a beautiful outdoor location. What location would you choose before exploring Oliver's questions?

• What did you notice?

• What did you hear?

• What did you admire?

• What astonished you?

• What would you like to see again?

• What was most tender?

• What was most wonderful?

• What did you think was happening?

Option C: Four Walks Through Four Pairs of "Eyes"

In On Looking: Eleven Walks with Expert Eyes, cognitive scientist Alexandra Horowitz describes how she expanded her attention by repeatedly walking a familiar neighborhood path with a variety of other individuals, thereby recognizing things to which she had not previously paid attention. Soul Matters suggests we do the same in our own neighborhood with at least four other people, asking them what they notice, and then asking ourselves:

• What did my walking partner's way of looking say about my own way of looking?

• What aspect of my walking partner's attention do I want to develop as my own?

What started for me as the relatively simple theme of PAYING ATTENTION has turned out to be deeply spiritual and complex. Perhaps we can help each other improve our ability to pay attention by making sure we focus our time, talent, treasure, and trust only on those things that best match our values. The most important of those values, of course, is to always keep love at the center.

In any moment, on any given day, I can measure my wellness by this question: Is my attention on loving, or is my attention on who isn't loving me?

– Andrea Gibson

Seeking a deeper dive into PAYING ATTENTION?

• Check out the one-page PAYING ATTENTION Overview.

• The complete PAYING ATTENTION ministry packet is available to UUSM members and friends; to obtain the link, contact Sheila Sandow.