REFLECTION: The Practice of INVITATION

This year's congregational themes are geared toward helping us Live into Love more deeply through a consideration of The Practices of our Faith. Our congregational theme for the month of September offers us an opportunity to do so through The Practice of INVITATION.

Before starting to write these reflections, I always try to imagine what that month's theme might be about. In the case of "invitation," I was sure the theme would suggest living more deeply into love by inviting my friends to come to UU San Mateo. Sure enough, the first of the Spiritual Exercises found in this month's Ministry Guide is exactly that. I always try to convince the friends I love to give my UU congregation a visit, usually without success. But instead of trying to convince others, the folks at Soul Matters Sharing Circle suggest we simply describe our own experience – the gift that this spiritual community has made to our lives. The former feels like dreaded proselytizing, while the latter is an expression of joy. To truly invite, we might try saying something like, "Hey, you mentioned you're feeling a hunger for community lately. Community is what I have found at UU San Mateo. I was wondering if you'd like to come with me some Sunday morning to see what you think."

Beyond this obvious definition of invitation, this month's theme suggests we go far deeper. For example, Rev. Michelle Collins, who was raised in the Southern Baptist tradition, describes a similarity between an invitational practice of her childhood and one that exists in Unitarian Universalism. A central ingredient of every worship service Rev. Collins experienced growing up was an "alter call," during which congregants were invited to proclaim Jesus as their savior. As Unitarian Universalists, she explains, we are invited to explore our own personal beliefs. Our young people's Religious Exploration experience includes asking them to write a credo statement about what they believe, and then inviting them to read their statements to the congregation. "[T]he primary thing that drew me to Unitarian Universalism in the first place," Rev. Collins explains, "[is] the fact that we…are invited to find and name our own beliefs, and that no one is telling us what they should be."

If you're like me, it's been a while since you examined what you really believe. Soul Matters invites us to begin this new congregational year by "anchor[ing] ourselves in a clear articulation of our core beliefs," and in another of this month's Spiritual Exercises, helps us get started by providing eight links to inspiring credo statements written by others.

In addition to extending invitations to others, life is about experiencing the many invitations the universe offers us. It's easy to accept the invitations that fit our preconceived notions, the ones that seem to guarantee joy and positive outcomes. But what about the ones that seem risky, the ones that might upset how we think about ourselves and the world? Philosopher/psychologist Carl Jung challenged the notion that our concept of God exists only to provide comfort for our anxieties. "To this day God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my willful path violently and recklessly," wrote Jung, "all things which upset my subjective views, plans and intentions and change the course of my life for better or worse."

Dr. Christine Valters Paintner, the online Abbess of the Abbey of the Arts virtual monastery, interprets Jung's statement as "the divine…which disrupts everything," and suggests we should actually court "holy disruption" by welcoming that which challenges our perspectives and upsets the plans we have for ourselves. When life starts falling apart, she says, "What if…I opened my heart to welcome in the grief and fear…and considered them holy guides" that upset our preconceived ideas and thereby help us find the divine?

Change is not a threat to your life,

but an invitation to live.

– Adrienne Rich

Fortunately, we complicated beings have a built-in ability to accept the invitations that will enhance our lives, and disregard the ones that aren't right for us. "Something within us knows us better than we know ourselves," writes Jungian psychoanalyst Dr. James Hollis, a prolific author of books about how to find meaning in life. "[That something] speaks silently, withdrawing energy from things that are not for us. It doesn't care about our comfort; it cares about our growth." (Click here to listen to a SoundsTrue interview with Dr. Hollis, entitled, "The Goal of Life is Meaning, not Happiness".)

Wondering about the meaning of life is something many of us do as we grow older. Although our congregation's Aging-to-Saging groups talk about aging from time-to-time, we spend even more time talking about saging – the wisdom we've gained through life. Consider that perhaps aging is trying to offer us an invitation, rather than taking something from us. Another of this month's Spiritual Exercises suggests we can learn a lot about ourselves by exploring the invitations our stage of life offers us. To assist in your exploration, check out Aging's Invitations, Soul Matters' wonderful collection of quotes, essays, and videos summarizing the invitations others have experienced in middle and later years. This gem is my favorite takeaway from the Soul Matters collection:

Old age is no time to hunker down, unless disability demands it.

Old is just another word for nothing left to lose,

a time of life to take bigger risks on behalf of the common good.

-- Parker J. Palmer

The most important invitation life offers all of us is Love, but that invitation is perhaps the most difficult one for us to learn to accept. "Love isn't something natural," writes social psychologist and humanistic philosopher Eric Fromm. "Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling; it is a practice."

Rev. Dr. Sofia Betancourt, president of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), offers us wisdom on life's invitation to practice love. "There is a love that sets us free…," she writes. "Free as in knowing without a doubt that we are worthy and that it is ours to invite others into that same wisdom for themselves."

So how will you engage in The Practice of INVITATION during the month of September? Will you extend invitations to others, accept the invitations the universe offers to you, or perhaps do some of each? Will you invite "holy disruption" into your life, saying no to fear and yes to love?

If they ask what I did best,

Tell them I said YES to love.

– Hymn 1008:

When Our Heart Is in a Holy Place

Seeking more inspiration and wisdom about The Practice of INVITATION? Check out this month’s Soul Matters Overview, and the complete Practice of INVITATION ministry guide.